The Fifth Son by Elie Wiesel

Author:Elie Wiesel [Wiesel, Elie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-307-80639-0
Publisher: Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group
Published: 2011-09-13T16:00:00+00:00

Ariel, my son,

… Daring? Honor? Dignity? What foolishness! To you I can admit it: I am angry with myself. I should not have defied our Angel, not at that particular moment.

After all, we, the council members, were not guilty of any wrongdoing as far as the community was concerned. We learned about the massacre only after it happened. We did not even know of the existence of Workshop # 4.

Then why did we insist on playing heroes? To obtain what favors in heaven or on earth? To impress whom? Now, in retrospect, I tell myself that to disarm the Angel and blunt his rage, I should have thrown myself on the ground, crawled at his feet, and begged him to spare us. We could have resigned later. I could have told the Germans: “Before, we did not know, now we know; therefore, from now on we consider ourselves responsible for every life inside these walls. Next time a Jew is killed we shall denounce your crimes by resigning, by choosing death, next time …”

Yes, my son, I feel responsible for the deaths of my comrades. Had I overcome my pride, they might have lived another year, another month, another day. For someone about to die even a single day is a long time. You know it well.

But … then what happened? I thought that I was interpreting our collective conviction that it was better, that it was simpler and more prudent to take a stand right then. Right there. Otherwise we ran the risk of falling into the trap of routine: one says B because one has said A. Then one continues to D, to death; one becomes an accomplice of Death.

I refused to say B. I stopped before. I was wrong. I could not resist the temptation of courage; that is how I sacrificed my friends. And others I didn’t even know.

It is a fact that there were ghettos where Jewish leaders behaved differently; should I pity them or envy them?

I recognize that Jewish history placed too heavy a burden on my shoulders. I was not prepared.

Was the Angel right when he told me that I would have preferred to die? And give you up? Fortunately I was spared this choice. I was destined to lose either way.

Your father

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